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Archive for the ‘Embarrassing Moments’ Category

I know, I know.  You thought I had disappeared from this earth.  I can’t say that I blame you.  My last post was in April!  Well, I don’t have any excuse other than just laziness.  So, without any more excuses from me, I deliver this post on delivering Hurricane A.
  I know many of you have heard this story but it is one that I enjoy telling.  Humor me and say you enjoyed it too.   On May 2, 1999 I started feeling contractions around 5:00p.m.  I was sitting in the cove with some neighbors while the kids played.  SoGent had gone to play basketball.  My neighbors (my sister and Tabatha) and I started timing the contractions and they eventually started getting closer together.  I eventually packed up my chair and Drama Queen and headed in to make sure I had all of my stuff together.  It had been arranged for Drama Queen to stay with my sister who lived in the cove.  At the last minute Bo (my sister) decided she wanted to be at the hospital when her 2nd neice was born.  So we called our babysitter and asked if DQ could just spend the night.  It was a very good thing that we did that.  Once we got her packed and sent on her way I started making sure I had all my ducks in a row.  I called SoGent’s cell phone and told a teammate’s wife that I was in labor.  In the meantime I feel my water break.  I run to the bathroom and then change my clothes.  I call my family and tell them that the time has arrived.  I called the answering service for my doctor but unfortunately the lady doctor of the practice was on call.  We discussed how far apart my contractions were and my previous labor with my first child.  At this point my contractions were about every 5 minutes.  She tells me to go to the hospital and get checked in.  SoGent arrives home and we load the car with bags, camera, camcorder etc.  By the time we leave for the hospital it is approximately 9:15.  I call my family to tell them we are on our way.  My sister rides with us as she lives in the cove and my parents agree to meet us there.  We arrive and get checked in.  The nurse comes in to check my progress.  I have only dilated to 1cm but my contractions are every 3 minutes.  She also informs me that my water has not broken yet.  “What!  I felt it and it was more than just a trickle!” Nope still intact.  “Great, you mean I wet all over myself?  That is just lovely!”  She said she will go call the doctor to report her findings.  She comes back and said they will monitor me for an hour but it is possible that I might get sent home as I have not dilated enough. At this point my contractions are coming pretty quickly and they are getting more intense.  I don’t deal well with pain so I kept asking the nurse for an epidural.  She said she is not allowed to give me one yet because the doctor has not decided whether to keep me yet or not.  I told the nurse “This pain is killing me and please get me and epidural!”  My mother is like “what do you mean the doctor hasn’t decided whether to keep her.  Look at her, she is doubled over in pain!”  The nurse agrees to call the doctor again.  I am not sure whether the nurse was giving the doctor the full report or not.  I can’t imagine even considering sending me home.  After and hour the nurse checks me again and I am still only 1cm dilated.  However, by this time my contractions are every 2 minutes and I can hardly stand it.  The nurse calls the doctor and comes back to report that we need to go home until the contractions are more intense.  MORE INTENSE??!! I can hardly stand it now.  My teeth are chattering and when I get up to get dressed again I can’t even walk straight up.  My family is livid that they are sending me home.  My mother kept saying “Look at her!  She has no business going home!”  In hindsight we should have just sat in the waiting room but we didn’t.  We head home.  They had told me to go home and soak in a tub of warm water and that should get things going.  My contractions seem to get stronger on our way home but I did not want to go back and be sent home again.  I did not want to be one of those patients that they talk about when you leave.  We get home and SoGent starts the tub of warm water for me. I get in and (okay this is gross) start feeling like I have gas!  Great, that’s all I need on top of all this.  All of a sudden, like someone hit me over the head with a 2×4, I realize it isnt gas, I am pushing!  I call for SoGent and said”I think I am pushing!  Call me an ambulance, I don’t think we can make it in the car.”  I attempt to get out of the tub and get my top on but that is as far as I get.  The contractions are right on top of each other and VERY VERY painful.  I just laid down on the bathroom floor and hollered!  SoGent called 911 and my sister to come over and help him. The operator is preparing him to deliver this baby!  My sister arrives to see me thrashing around on the floor and screaming in pain.  The 911 operator is asking them to check and see if I am crowning (see the baby’s head)  My sister proceeds to look and mind you, I am half sitting, half lying down.  She says “Nope, don’t see anything!”  We laugh at this now because how in the world can you see if I am crowning if I am sitting on my rear end!  She obviously was a nervous wreck.  The 911 operator is telling SOGent to get towels and shoestrings.  I yell out “No, we are going to the hospital!  I need may epidural!”  The 911 operator informs SoGent to tell me to stop pushing.  Yeah right!  Has she ever tried to stop pushing a baby out when you are in so much pain you feel like the Twin towers are coming through you!  I yell back “I can’t stop pushing.  It is an uncontrollable urge to push that you can’t stop.” The ambulance finally arrives and they come in with a stretcher.  They immediately get out an emergency obstetrical kit.  Iask “Why do you have that out?”  The paramedic said “We are preparing to deliver this baby if we have to.”  I said “No, I have to get to the hospital to get my epidural!”  He said, “Ma’am you are crowning so it is too late to get an epidural.”  I said “No, you don’t understand.  I don’t do pain very well and I HAVE to have that epidural.  Let’s go to the hospital now!”  They put me on the stretcher in between contractions and carry me out to the ambulance.  They tell me that if the baby starts coming that they will have to pull over to the side of the raod to deliver.  I screamed “No!  I want my epidural!!!”  “We will try our best ma’am.” said the paramedic.  Now, tell me if this isn’t unusual.  When you call 911, you get ambulance fire truck, the whole 9 yards.  So, there were 2 paramedics, one man and one woman and one male firefighter (that rode with us).  Who drove the ambulance you ask?  THE WOMAN!  Who rode in the back with me?  THE MAN!  Is it me or should it have not been the other way around.  The woman had more than likely had a child herself and could sympathize with me.  Anyway, as we get in I ask the paramedic and firefighter if they had ever delivered a child before.  I should have known immediately by the look on the firefighters face that the answer was no.  It truly had a look of panic.  The paramedic quickly jumped in and said “Oh, yes ma’am, we have.”  Then he hands the firefighter a scrub jacket and said “put this on.”  He proceeds to put it on me!!!  The paramedic says “No, I meant put it on yourself!”  OH MY GOSH!  GET ME TO THE HOPITAL FAST! When we arrive at the hospital my parents were waiting outside Emergency waiting on us.  My dad is posed with his camera and then quickly puts it down.  I asked him later what he was doing and he said, “Well I thought I would get some pictures to remember this moment but you were screaming so loudly that I decided against it!”  Good choice.  I also heard later that when SoGent called my sister to let her know we were going back to the hospital by ambulance that she was already putting her pajamas on.  So, she grabbed her bra and shirt and left quickly.  My parents said that when she came running into the emergency room her bra was hanging loosly down to her toes!  That is hilarious.  Anyway, to make a long story short (HAHA) Hurricane A was born 10 minutes after I arrived.  No Epidural!!!  They had to call the doctor from the next room to come catch my baby!  Needless to say I was not happy with my doctor on call’s choice.  I said that I hoped the same thing happened to her one day.  The funny thing is it did!  I heard that a couple of years later her husband delivered her baby at a gas station!So, we always joke that Hurricane A came into this world in a flurry and hasn’t stopped since!

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Traditionally April 1 has been know as April Fool’s day.  It is a day that when you were younger you couldn’t wait to pull pranks on teachers, friends and family members alike.  Although I can not remember any specific pranks (I have slept since then) I know I was part of some growing up.

Now, I have kids those same ages who just love April Fools day and are always dreaming up pranks to pull on their friends.  I remember last year Drama Queen telling all her friends that her dad was being transferred out of town and we would soon be moving.  I was sworn to not give it away and go along with the joke.  Well, anyone that knows me knows that I never want to move out of town so this was a major thing for me to agree with.  Her friends were so upset and were calling the house to ask her Dad and if it was true.  It was a good prank and most people fell for it.

Also last year Drama Queen got me good.  One Sunday afternoon SouthernGent was taking the girls out somewhere as I had a meeting at church to go to.  They had just left the house and I was picking up the kitchen before I had to leave.  I was turning on the faucet to rinse some dirty dishes and when I did I got SPRAYED by the hose.  I screamed and jumped back and stunned so that it took me a few seconds to realize what was happening and get enough sense about me to turn the water off.  By that time I was soaked.  She had placed a rubber band on the hose to hold the handle down so that when you turned on the water it automatically came out of the hose.  I then started laughing and picked up the phone to call them on the cell phone.  Of course they played dumb and tried to act like they had no idea what I was talking about.  I then had to quickly go and change my clothes before I could leave.

Who taught my children to be so devious?

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This has got to be one of my most embarrassing moments.  You always hear about people saying that they put their foot in their mouths sometimes when asking ladies if they are pregnant.  Well, now it has happened to me.  Let me tell you, it is definitely embarrassing.  Yesterday I was at church and me and a couple of other girls on the same lead team as me were setting up a table of food for the middle schoolers.  This one girl was on my team and I don’t see her often.  She was wearing this red silk top with an empire waist.  If you are a lady then you know that those fit right up under your breast and then hangs loosely.  I have one also and have a friend that always refers to it as my maternity top.  So, I kept looking at her all night thinking she may be pregnant but not sure.  She even kept resting her hands on her stomach which I did when I was pregnant.  Still, I was not sure so I didn’t say anything…for a while.  At one point she came walking towards me and I said “Are you expecting?” “No, I’m just fat.” she said kind of sarcastic like.  So, I said, “Your kidding me right?”  “No, I’m really just fat.”   OMG I was so embarrassed!  So, then I tried to rectify it and make her feel better by saying, ” I have an Empire shirt too and they way they fit, they are kind of like maternity tops.”  She didn’t respond.  Why can’t I just shut up!  In my defense, she really did look like she was about 5 or 6 months pregnant.  Her stomach was taut against the shirt.  It looked liked one of those roll pillows under her shirt.  That is how it was shaped.

Anyway, I will NEVER, NEVER say anything to anyone else again!  What is one of your most embarrassing moments?

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